Your Mom.

I had a strange dream last night. It was rather long but I'll write the part that is relevant to you.



You were sitting in some kind of a cubicle with your mom. The setting felt like a library, so it probably was. You were studying and your mom was looking outside the window. I was passing by and wondered why you were studying even though school was over. You asked me to sit down. We talked a little and I helped you a with your work. It was math, I think. Eventually we were only talking and you wanted to study, and you told me so. I didn't leave. I stayed and helped you with your work.

I feel like I never left. And I never will, even if only in my dreams.

What I still can't fathom is what the hell was your mom doing in my dream.

A note on the bathroom stall

Bathroom stall notes are always funny. The guy who scribbled this one is a Bathroom-Stall-Note genius, and not to mention poetically hilarious:

"I came here,
Broken-hearted,
Sat down to poop,
But only farted"

What can I say?

They Don't Care

I clip a lot of things that I experience on my mobile phone. All these note clippings reached a point where I couldnt find what I wanted, so I started organizing these notes: One note in particular grabbed my attention.

About a year ago:
I was sitting next to this girl on my bus to New York from Boston. She was getting married in less than 2 months since this day, I think she was about 20 years old. In a seemingly stupid way, I asked her why she wanted to get married so early on in her life (Now that I think of it, I had no business asking her this question), but she didn't hesitate to answer.

Her response was that she felt "like nobody cared about her". It seems very low and depressing, but I can't help but think about what she must've gone through in her life to feel like this when she was only 20. She was very funny and charming.

I hope you're happily married and feel better about your life - Wherever you are.

The Movies in Real Life

A couple days ago, I was waiting outside a coffee shop for a friend. A girl was walking by. A guy came running by accross from the street and said to her "Hi, I need to know your name." She turned around and smiled and said "Were you running"? He said yes.

Right after that I had to go, and I didn't realize this till later when I sat to think about what I had done that day.

I thought it was just like what happens in the movies. I would like to believe that she gave him her name, they talked for a while, maybe even had coffee at the same place where this incident took place.

Controlling your emotions, or being controlled.

Controlling your emotions, or keeping them tied up when you're working is something I have heard from multiple people in multiple places (I must say most of these sources are TV shows/ Movies). This isn't something I've experienced first hand, but if I had to control my emotions, I know it would be very hard to do. And I dont see that in a negative light. To be honest, Human beings are one of the few creatures that can experience the greatest emotions such as love, happiness, excitement, contentness. And to tie these emotions down would be a waste of such a valuable resource, no?

Now, I do understand that there are a bunch of people out there that have made a TON of money by tying down these emotions, but is it really worth it? I hear a lot of hell yeah's in the distance, but personally I think not. And when I say emotions, I don't mean those that make other people feel bad, or those that make you hate things, or those that make you want to kill someone. or, hell, even those that make you want to just jump off a 100-story building. I refer to the emotions that give you a natural high, those emotions that make you want to hug and smile and love. Because after all, it is true that these things are free, and the best things in life.

Speaking strictly in terms of intuitiveness, emotions can do a great deal for a person. I think I'm fairly intuitive and happy about the choices I make, whether consciously thought out or otherwise. Leaving mathematics aside for just one second (I will get to this later, because Math is by far one of the best discoveries for mankind), I think that the first impression of anything is by far the best impression, and not in a critical or judgmental way, but you will end up realizing most of the times that the first thing you're mind (or your heart, if you will) wanted you to do was the best for you.

Now this brings me to the last point (Don't worry about the math, I've got it covered): I'm not saying that you should let these emotions control you, Im simply saying that once in a while, if you let yourself loose you will experience something so many people only dream of - The freedom, the contentedness (which in turn leads to happiness), the idea that everything is going just like it should, and eventually, sub-consciously, you will start acting this way a lot. And believe me (well, you don't have to - try it for yourself), it will make you feel one with the One.

Funny side note, ever think that you might be the One?

So think about this (or don't - act upon it), and feel free to leave comments to let me know your thoughts on this subject! I'm leaving you with a couple nice quotes. Peace and Love.

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” - Oscar Wilde

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” - Carl Bechner

PS. Article on the Why math is so amazing coming up soon (February 2025, just kidding.)

Control, or the illusion of control.

I want to start this article by citing a reference to a very recent movie called the kung fu panda. The movie shows us, sometimes very subtly and some other times, not so much, that we are never actually in complete control of our lives. That this control is just simply an illusion. This is particularly obvious when the master uses the example of the peach tree and how one can plant it and see that the fruit it bears are peaches, but one can never actually control when the fruits ripen or the tree is completely grown.

Now, starting out with the example of a movie might not have been the best idea when I'm trying to make a point that probably changed the way I will think about my life. Now whether this was meant to be or not, I have no idea. I don't want to go into the story too deep for the fear of opening myself up too much but what came out of it was the idea that I need to control my life.

Or atleast the fact that I need to take more responsibilities and the ones I already have a little more seriously. Another outcome was me having to realize that simply, I have to do whatever it takes to get what I want. Destiny, Karma or whatever one calls it that has 'actual control' over my life will not just hand it over to me. And more so when opposed to doing what other people want me to do. Although all of this might seem very obvious when written down, for some reason I think that I dont feel so strongly that these ideas are practiced with that much conscious obviousness.

Now getting to the control aspect, I have always been (and still am) scared that if I am in complete control of my life, do I have to answer only to myself? If not who do I answer to? Do I have to answer at all? The recent experience solved this mystery, and atleast for me, it was a (not so subtle) epiphany.

I will never know if there is soemone out there that I have to answer to, and Im not trying to make a religious/spiritual statement here, but what I do know is what I want (And when I didnt I tried to figure this out). Now if, per say, I dont have any control over what's going to happen to me in the rest of my life, I do know that I can atleast try to take actions towards meeting the goals that will make me successful from my own viewpoint. On the flipside, if I do have complete control over my life, and thus, every single action i perform, I don't see why I should not take responsibilities and take actions towards meeting the same goals mentioned above.

I'm sure that there are many people out there that have already experienced this, and many who still will. To the latter, I hope this article can help put things in perspective, and to the former, I sincerely wish you good luck with your goals. There is no real conclusion Im trying to make (or any that I can try to make) to this idea. My success in my life from my viewpoint would conclude this experience to me and for your own experience, to you.

I do still think that control is scary and that I want to know that my actions in the coming days, months and years will align with what I have said in this article. Another important thing I want to stress on is that I am making absolutely no religious or spiritual arguments here.

Now as I take on this control (or perhaps, this illusion of control) of my life, I want to be able to say that many times in the past I havent known what I wanted out of life, and there will be more moments like this. There have been times when I havent trusted anything, and there will be many more moments where I will feel the same way. But the least I can do is consciously try to understand what my fears are and face them. I want to end this by quoting one of my favorite quotes all time (Oh, and by the way, this is from a TV show - Scrubs) :

J.D. (from scrubs): I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it.

Now explain to me why TV is bad? ;)