Why people have friends

haaa!

The thing about coffee

 

Boom! A good reminder before you start off the week

Interesting read on the higher education bubble

From: The Best Colleges

This is your life

Via @navinjain09

Peace & Love,

TRB

New Song!

Wrote and composed a song. Here's the video.

Going from failure to success

If you're not constantly failing, you're not doing enough. It's true - try new things and push yourself to the edge of your limits. But failing can often leave you feeling miserable. But there's not need to give up.

The four steps in the road from failure to success:

1. Know that you as a person did not fail. Just the activity that you did was a failure.
2. Analyze what part of your activity was a failure. Typically, there might be one or two things you can improve and change the outcome of any activity. Consciously try finding these.
3. Then, try it again.
4. Learn from it, and don't make THAT mistake again.

Easy enough, right? 

Give something back

Beautiful Corporations

Venturebeat reported about the new types of corporations that California created: Benefit Corporations and Flexible Purpose Corporations.

It is amazing to see that governments are quietly making the "revolution" happen - and understanding that the new world is not about making huge corporations that only care about money. We are a generation who grew up with the ability and willingness to take into account the good of the world.



Way to go!

The choice is really yours

50 ways to improve yourself your mind, body and soul

Physically

1. Simple food, quality, quantity.
2. Regularity in eating and sleep.
3. Masticate; leave table hungry.
4. We are a part of all we have eaten.
5. Exercise, five minutes, three times daily.
6. Air — most important.
7. Sunlight, artificial light.
8. Water inside and outside.
9. Loose clothing.
10. Early to sleep; get plenty.

Mentally

1. Think sanely.
2. Learn from mental superiors.
3. Learn to listen attentively.
4. Read best newspapers and books.
5. Improve the memory.
6. Concentrate.
7. Don't worry unnecessarily.
8. Be systematic.
9. Weigh both sides.
10. Avoid inferior minds.

Morally

1. Right is right, wrong is wrong.
2. Be truthful.
3. Ignore precedent if wrong.
4. Seek elevating recreation.
5. Don't deceive yourself.
6. Learn to say "no."
7. Live up to your principles.
8. Avoid temptation.
9. Form good habits.
10. Have a constitution.

Financially

1. Increase my earnings.
2. Decrease unnecessary expense.
3. Save money, U.S. Postal Bank.
4. Money makes money.
5. Invest — don't gamble.
6. Make family budget.
7. Hard work.
8. Study the business.
9. Pay cash for everything.
10. Increase credit balance.

Socially

1. Avoid bad associates.
2. Select helpful friends.
3. Think alone.
4. Learn to be happy alone.
5. Family best company.
6. Work out, alone, my problems.
7. Avoid so-called society.
8. Entertain economically.
9. Stand well with neighbors.
10. Do some welfare work.

(Via.)

Be a possibilitarian

Nine people were discussing a business problem. The challenge they were facing was not their fault; it was circumstances beyond their control that resulted in this problem. The problem was identified, and they were discussing what they were going to do about it.

"What will we do," asked one of them. One person immediately said, "There is nothing we can do." That response was unacceptable to the rest of the group and acted as a spark of action. "Yes, there is something we can do!" replied two of them in unison. It was at that point that their minds started to work coming up with solutions. It reminded me of the quote by John Cage, "If someone says 'can’t', that shows you what to do."

We are all faced with challenges at some point in our life, challenges that we did not create. Challenges that happened beyond our control. The difference is how we respond to these challenges. You can adopt the attitude there is nothing you can do, or you can see the challenge as your call to action. Your attitude can take you forward or your attitude can take you down. The choice is always yours!

As Norman Vincent Peale said, "Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities - Always see them, for they are always there."

(via)

Thought

Truth is, we all have tons of options. We're just scared to choose. We're scared of change.

Travelling without money

I recently read an extract from Paulo Coehlo's new book "Aleph", where he speaks about travelling. Many of us have the heart to travel, but believe that we don't have enough money to do that. The truth is, Travelling can be done under any budget, you just have to believe that what you'll learn from the experience will be more valuable than what you will give up with a small budget. His point:

Travelling doesn't require money, it requires courage. If you don't have the courage to go out and explore, no amount of money (or lack thereof) will help you travel more.

Its quite apt. If you were to backpack for instance, or live in hostels, you could easily travel under a budget, and it really does have to do with a "come what may, I can deal with this" attitude.

letsgo.com and travelindependent.info have some amazing tips and plans for such travellers.

You can get the Paulo Coelho's "Aleph" on Amazon here.

Thought

If you can find the balance between doing what makes you happy and not affecting the lives of others negatively, that's enlightenment. That's bliss and the real path to a better world. The world so many people call heaven.

Things You Should Let Go Of

Photo Credit: Urban Bliss Yoga

Here's a brilliantly thought out list of things that bog us down from Soul Hiker. Whether we are entrepreneurs, professionals or artists - following these in mind will make your life that much better. 

1. Let go of attachments: According to Buddhist Philosophy, attachment is one of the roots of all suffering. I can’t agree more. We attach ourselves to all sorts of things even the most self-slapping stupid notions in the universe. Are you attached to something? How much are you attached? Is it keeping you back from something? Is it making you suffer? Look at it straight through – break the illusion. Know that every attachment can be detached.

2. Let go of guilt: Guilt has absolutely no function whatsoever. Think about it – what could guilt possibly resolve? It just holds you imprisoned to self-mortification and sorrow.

3. Let go of Negative thinking: Pessimistic thoughts and negative attitudes keep you locked in a dark aura that permeates in everything you do. It’s a dangerous line to follow. Know that thoughts influence the world around us. Enough said

4. Let go of self-criticism: Many times we are our biggest pain in the neck. We criticize ourselves with the best of intentions but then go over the acceptable limit. Criticism then turns to disempowering messages. Let go of it and be kind and gentle to yourself.

5. Let go of prejudice: Prejudice keeps you bitter and resentful. It restricts your opportunities to connect meaningfully with others.

6. Let go of compulsive thinking: Do you keep on doing something just because you feel you have to do it without any apparent reason? It’s time to honestly reflect on its usefulness and its side-effects.

7. Let go of the need for others’ approval: We often tend to seek approval by others. This is an attention-seeking behaviour and one which threatens our self-confidence and authenticity.

8. Let go of limiting beliefs: Most of our limits are self-imposed. Life doesn’t have defined limits. Our beliefs do. Learn to identify those beliefs which narrow down your possibilities for action and let go of them.

9. Let go of grudges: Let me put it this way – grudges are bad for your heart. Keep them long enough or numerous enough and your health will eventually suffer. Research is showing the relationship between heart disease and emotions such as anger and grudges.

10. Let go of the “I’ll do it tomorrow” attitude: This is a delaying tactic of your subconscious saboteur trying to keep you from accomplishing important tasks. Try to be aware of it when you think it and consciously push yourself to do at least the first part of it. Naturally you will then continue the whole task because the hard part is only the beginning.

11. Let go of anxious thoughts: These are born out of our fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future. The thought that something unpleasant may happen is only an unreal thought we have created ourselves. Ask yourself: “Is this thought based on real evidence?”

12. Let go of past heartbreaks: A heartbreak can take quite a long time to heal. Your heart is locked as your mind keeps on hovering over the same thought. The thing to realize is that in heartbreaks it is not the loss that make you suffer but the idea you create in your heads about that loss.

13. Let go of bad memories: Sometimes we remember unpleasant things that stir up some sad feelings in us. Bad memories make you relive those sad moments in the present. Keep them where they are – in the past.

14. Let go of useless things: We also attach ourselves to things of all sort. Sometimes we clutter our life with useless objects. Let go of them and simplify your working and living environment.

15. Let go of bad company: If there are people around you that are insincere, harbour envy, are highly pessimistic or disempowering, keep away from them.

16. Let go of the idea that you are a product of your past: One very common mistake we fall into is the belief that we are determined by our past experiences. This limits our view on future possibilities since we are stuck in believing that the future can only be more of the same as our past.

17. Let go of identifying yourself with your job/role: This is one of the risks of modern day life. Since roles are always becoming more specialized we think that we are part of our roles. This makes us lose perspective of our true nature.

18. Let go of counterproductive habits: These are the repetitive patterns of behavior that obstruct or distract you from constructive and productive behavior. They can be anything from watching too much TV and overeating to self-destructive behavior such as drug abuse.

19. Let go of taking things too personally: Very often we are disturbed emotionally because we interpret people’s words and actions from a very subjective perspective. When we take things personally we get irritated, hurt and disappointed.  When you look at life from a more detached and objective point of view, we stay emotionally balanced and focused on our priorities.

20. Let go of the ticking clock: Time is one of our biggest sources of stress. Well, not time really but our perception of it. Sometimes we are enslaved by the concept of time even in our moments of leisure. This has devoured a lot of our genuine freedom and space. Learning to spend moments without the constant awareness of time can be liberating and finally productive.

My favorite? Let go of limiting beliefs: If you believe that nothing can stop you - then truly, nothing can stop you as long as you're alive. "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right".


(Via).

How creativity flourishes - TOI

This piece on the Times of India about the importance of conflict in making creative leaps. I previously wrote about the importance of sadness in understanding happiness or creating art - it's a conflict with yourself. The following is an excerpt from the article that is quite enlightening, read up!

Most are confused between conflict and the method of resolving a conflict. We assume, incorrectly, that Gandhi, as a peace loving person, must have avoided situations of conflict. On the other hand, he faced conflict heads on. Bhagat Singh and Gandhi were both gearing themselves to deal with conflict, except that Gandhi tried to employ peaceful means while Bhagat Singh chose aggression.

The duty of a scientist, artist or professor is also to engage in conflict against repressive regimes of knowledge. Any kind of limited knowledge is a form of bondage. Albert Einstein advanced the boundaries of scientific knowledge. James Joyce did the same in the world of literature. He flouted rules of writing as he saw them as restrictions on creativity. Picasso and M F Husain for example, explored realms beyond accepted rules in visual art. Mother Teresa redefined the concept of caring. Every one of them faced criticism and controversy, yet they remained convinced of the nature of their work and the methods they used to fulfill their vision.  They remained engaged. 

Continue to read here

It's important to remember that facing conflicts will make you stronger - and a stronger mind means stronger creative leaps. Yep, it's true!

TRB

How Do Geniuses Think?

Here's an interesting article that talks about how Geniuses think, how they take in information and decipher it. They do two things mainly:

1. they look at any given information from many perspectives
2. they think the exact opposite of what is said to them.

Here's an excerpt:

"Genius often comes from finding a new perspective that no one else has taken. Leonardo da Vinci believed that to gain knowledge about the form of problems, you begin by learning how to restructure it in many different ways. He felt the first way he looked at a problem was too biased toward his usual way of seeing things. He would restructure his problem by looking at it from one perspective and move to another perspective and still another."

Continue reading here [psychologytoday.com]

Croma, how is this fair? #cromastores #tata #india

Anyone living in India may be well averse with Croma, a Tata enterprise for electronic goods.

Today I went there to buy headphones. Before me was a lady who had bought an antivirus software two days ago because there was a free 8gb usb drive with it. She went home and found that the usb drive was not working - and so she came to return it.

The salesman says "we can't give you another drive because you opened it". How exactly is she supposed to know that the usb drive isn't working without opening it? Leaving the judgement aside that she was stupid enough to buy antivirus for a "free 8gb" drive, It saddens me to know that a Tata enterprise treats its customers in such a way!

For India, I think the one name is amazing values is Tata, and if they're doing this, I think we can let the rest of the big names in country rot anyway. Sorry for being so harsh. But in the big names, Tata is one of the most "customer-oriented", if you will.

Now if the salesman simply told her that they can't replace free drives because they're.. Free, that would be acceptable. But to make a stupid reason up like the one he did is just sad.

If somehow the executives that handle Croma at Tata get to reading this: do something about your customer service execs.

PS. EVERY SINGLE exec was playing with the iPad when I walked in. Time to make some changes, perhaps?

--
TRB

The power of subconscious decision making

Here's an interesting video for y'all. The founder of Buddy Media was interviewed on how he makes decisions and all I can say is that it is enlightening!


Check it out.

Leave your thoughts in the comments

#BBM that #inspires

Every once in a while, you will receive a BBM that improves your perception or puts a smile on your face. Here's one of them:

--
When I was a kid, my Mum liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now & then & I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.
On that evening, my Mum placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mum and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my Mum apologise to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said:

"Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,"Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides... A burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"You know, life is full of imperfect things... And imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything,and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So...please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burnt one will do just fine!And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life...I just did!Life is too short to wake up with regrets... Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don't...

--

Its a good way to start your morning, so good morning!

TRB

Indian Women and Sex

Generally marketers around the world (with some exceptions in the scandinavian countries, maybe) use sex as a tool to attract the male population. This is well known even to the non-marketing professional, and it works: sex sells.

Earlier today, I saw a TV advertisement for Parachute Moisturising cream that actually sold sex to women. Here's the link for it:

What surprises me, is ofcourse that this ad was directed towards women. But, it shouldnt be all that surprising: India is a country that marketers have had the hardest time understanding, and if Indian women do not mind being sold sex towards, then that solves a big marketing problem for the next few years.

On the other hand, It's a sign of changing India. It's a sign of a more open India.

I still don't understand it completely, but it's worth a try if that's what Parachute was going for.

Ps. if you were expecting something completely different due to the title, you're better off googling ;)

Self Respect #loveyourself

The importance of self respect is not evident in the way the world sees you, but in the way you see yourself. There is no shortage of losers in this world - but many of them are loved. and very dearly too. Sorry, Kardashians.

But if they hated themselves, made it absolutely clear and were sad about it all the time - guess what? Nobody would care about them either. That's what the prerequisite to living is: love who you are. If you hate yourself, pretend to love yourself. Paradoxical, yes, but so is our world.

Jail for Failed Suicide Attempts

Yes, the title is quite controversial: Times of India brought to our notice a few days ago that a failed attempt at suicide is a crime under current legislation (a successful attempt has its own rewards, perhaps). But it begs us to ask this question: People who are suicidal are tired of their lives and just want a way out - Without making a judgement on their bravery (or lack thereof), you have to ask: If you are tired of your life and try to kill yourself and fail, you land up in jail.

How does that make sense? It'll make people even more depressed and want to kill themselves even more unless a revelation changes their mind in jail completely.

Is that even a viable plan? If you try to kill yourself we'll put you in jail. If you don't, you're stuck. What about democracy? What about the freedom to choose? What we need is suicide helplines and self-help groups. Not stupid laws that are counter-intuitive.

India plans to make that law obsolete soon, but why was something like that put into place? I'm not sure if  either of the options - make suicide a crime or create self help groups - will help undo the damage in a person's life, but the latter is far more of a better option.

Even so, if somebody wants to kill themselves, I think they have all the right to. Of course things always get better, but that's just one of many perceptions.

Lessons in Perseverance

If you've ever taken a cab or driven to town from the suburbs or even Worli Sea Face, you know that the Haji Ali stretch is mind-numbing in peak hours. The tenish kilometer stretch can take anywhere between five minutes and one hour to drive by. In the same situation today, I saw a young man selling pirated books packed in polythene covers and made to look as legitimate as possible.

Now, during the 45 minutes or so I spent on that stretch, there was a taxi cab in front of me, in which a woman showed an interest in buying one of those books. For this young man, he had struck gold.

I say this for two reasons. First, most of us don't read. and second, even if the few of us that do, we don't buy a book while sitting in a 45 minute ten kilometer stretch. We're painstakingly furious at the red lights, other drivers and even ourselves sometimes, let along buying a book to read.

He had some ten books in his hand, and he showed her one by one patiently. She didn't like any of them. As we moved further along in the traffic, he moved with the car. He went away, and came back with more books in a matter of two minutes. These books he kept on the divider and when he came back, he did the same thing: showed her more books one by one. The process repeated until she was interested in one of the books.

This young man may be in his early twenties, and made a hundred bucks after twenty minutes of showing his collection and bargaining. He then goes to the next car where a woman sits, who looks like she might read a book.

He shows not only an understanding of his "market" (primarily women, perhaps men rarely buy from him) but also the perseverance and determination that he's not letting a sale go to waste. Inspiring.

Emotional Intelligence and India

Im beginning to think that for an emotional country, we lack emotional intelligence. This morning, for example, I read in the paper that an IIM-Bangalore girl decided to kill herself because her boyfriend dumped her. Over facebook. She was 22, and he was an idiot. She probably was too, in some matters. At 22 and IIM, would mean only one thing: Her life was just beginning. 


This is not an isolated incident. Some 16 year old Mulund boy decided to kill his grandmother so he could buy a bike.

Where is our emotional intelligence? Where is the can-deal-with this attitude that we are known for? Is a bike or a relationship more important than a life? These are extreme cases ofcourse, but there are people who go into depression because of the same reasons - lack of money or a broken heart.

I say we nail these things on their head, and find better relationships. We work harder and have an even more positive attitude about it. We are all lovable - by someone, somewhere - and that alone should be enough to make us emotionally intelligent.

Taking lives is not the answer, making sure our lives become even better after such incidents is.

In an open letter to a Delhi boy

I think we all meet a lot of people who we can classify as autistic three year olds, even though they look like and are expected to act like adults. Recently, one of my friends forwarded me a link to a blog by a Shahana who bashed one of such people.

I believe in forgetting these things and feel that it's better to focus our energies elsewhere, but her letter really changed my mind, even if just this once. It has been extensively covered so much and most of you have probably already read it, but if you have not, please do.

http://bit.ly/qMkupc

Being a boy, I think it's worth a read on general ettiquette. For girls, the incentive is obvious!

After a long time,
Trb
@trbetala

A trip to Tibet

Today marks the beginning of my journey to Tibet, Kailash and Mansarovar. These are seen as deeply spiritual places - as any mountain or ocean is.

My goals are
1) to be inward, as inward as possible, and minimize longing for the gratification of my senses.
2) to speak as little as is needed
3) to not respond to criticism, corrections or taunts, if there may be any.

For an analogy from a Buddhist book: I want my mind to be as calm as an ocean in which, even when a rock is thrown, there are no ripples.

I will write everything in my diary as I walk up Mt. Kailash and on towards Tibet and reach almost 6000 meters (I may be mistaken here).

Until I write again, Hope you all keep safe.

TRB
@trbetala

On slurping

Can one go anywhere without someone slurping his tea or coffee? I don't think so. Its just an indian custom. The taste of the tea or coffee doesn't change, but those who slurp say they do it because if they don't, it just doesn't taste right.

I know I say very often that one must be as true and honest as possible - but for the sake of others, when you are in a public place, be aware that slurping is nothing short of a public crime.

This message brought to you in public interest.

Peace and Love, even for those of you who slurp - yes you are a different set of Human Beings.

TRB
@trbetala

On being alone

I'm a big believer in doing things by myself. Very rarely do I feel like I need people around all the time – and in fact, I prefer it many times to doing things with people. That is not to say I don't like people. Of course I do. I am a very social person too, but there is something about doing things alone – a walk, a movie, dinner – that creates quality time with yourself. I understand what I really like without thinking of what another person likes.

I'm true to my likes and dislikes and they aren't clouded by my perception of another's.

Even so, I do not believe that we must never be emotionally attached to anybody. The only thing that separates us from both [most] animals and robots is that we can connect emotionally and intellectually on a level that nobody can.

Believing that everything can be done by yourself is silly, think about the minute you are born: If you are not nurtured properly by the society, chances are you wouldn't be around to read this. It's true.

On the other hand, it is also true that we come alone and we die alone – and it is inevitable that some people will be only be part of our memories rather than our present.

So, as for most things in life, a balance would do far better – a balance between alone-time and social time, a balance between knowing that people are a part of your life, just as you are; and a balance between being emotionally attached to not being at all.

There is no better feeling than the feeling of being wanted, and a life wanted shouldn't be sent to waste.

On taking credit

Earlier today I came across an interesting thought process behind taking credit.

We are all always eager to take credit for something good that has happened – obviously – it makes us feel great, and gives our ego a boost.

But something to think about, while taking such credit, is also whether we would take the blame if something had gone not so greatly.

This does two things: It tells us whether what we are taking credit for really was done by us – that is, if we were to be blamed, in our own minds, it would mean that we really were responsible for the act itself. Not the outcome, whether it turned out greatly or not so much.

One more thing it helps us to do is to learn to be true to ourselves. It is true that we need to fake a lot about ourselves, because that's just how our minds our trained.

But of all people we lie to or are unreal to, we must stay true to ourselves. No matter what.

Something to think about

I read this earlier on my news feed and had to share:


When The Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him most, he said “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”


Something for al of us to think about - and keep in mind, even if taking action is not immediately possible.

For my readers

I don't usually repost stuff. But here's something worthwhile.

[Original Source]

On Optimism

I have come to realize that optimism, although is a general trait, does not work for all areas of our life.

That is, if I'm optimistic about one thing (say my professional life), I may be pessimistic about another (perhaps my personal life), or be apathetic towards it.

If one is an optimistic person, it's a great thing - but it is important to realize the areas of your life you are optimistic about and those you are pessimistic about. And make an effort to change the latter areas to the former.

Mostly we just lack success, or are anxious about, only one area of life. We are pretty much rich in most other aspects.

For those who are not optimistic people, perhaps figure out that one area of life that you are optimistic about, and apply it to the other areas of life.

If you believe that you are destitute in more than one aspect, perhaps its time to reconsider your perspective of life.

The thing about enjoying the moment

Enjoying the moment is a hard thing to do - mostly because of the fear of uncertainty of the future, and the dream-like nature of the past. We either think back, or think forward - but to think in the moment is a feat rewarded by its own self.

What I have realized though, is that one of the best ways to be in the moment, and enjoy it, is by not secretly wishing you were somewhere else. Physically, mentally or both.

Here is a great place to be, and here is great. Because the problems of here may not be "there", but the problems of there may not be here.

Each place where you can be, mentally (your past, present, future) or physically (home, office, another town, another country), has it's own advantages and disadvantages - to truly enjoy the moment, you have to overlook the disadvantages.

What we really, truly want always comes true, mostly because we make it come true, and it's true in the case of wanting to be somewhere else too. Eventually you can be there, but for now, right here right now is great.

Hope you are all great

TRB

@trbetala

For those who watch (or listen to) the news

I'm not a big fan of watching the news on TV or listening to it on the radio. I'd rather "go to" the news than have it "come to" me.

The news channels want to keep you glued to the TV or the radio by amplifying your fear. They want their TRPs and their advertising revenues, and I can't blame them - that is their end goal.

Additionally, they have one thing to do - report news. And when there is nothing to report, they can't do much but repeat the "biggest" news story over and over again.

I speak not only about the recent blasts but in general. This creates and/or amplifies your fear - and keeps you going back. It's a vicious circle.

I would suggest that you go to the news than have it come to you - watch it to keep updated, but don't keep yourself glued - because really, it only keeps your fear unchecked.

Even if you feel the need to keep updated every minute - keep it on mute (can't do this with the radio) because the people who speak will influence and magnify your anger.

You're better off keeping in touch with the news every now and then.

Thoughts?

TRB
@trbetala

Update: What I mean by going to news, is reading it via e-newspapers and news blogs. Much easier, and lets you reflect on the news instead of telling you how to feel about it.

The blasts yesterday in Mumbai

It is impossible to not write about the blasts yesterday. Every news channel - newspapers and TV channel - had a repeat video of what happened.


It is even more impossible to believe Mumbai's reaction to it. We are hurt. We are appalled and mostly angry. Why does this happen? Have the people done something to deserve it? No.


What can you say to the terrorists? Im not sure.


All i know is that the Spirit of Mumbai is alive. And we come together like ever we do in such situations. Once again, however, we have proved that nothing can stop us. 


As I came to work today, I saw people pouring out of the railway stations in hundreds. I saw their spirit - the spirit of the day. The belief that nothing can stop us. 


All I can say is, Forgive them, Mumbai, for they don't know what they're doing. They're ignorant. They're silly and they're children. Don't waste your energy talking about it, when you see an opportunity to do something about it, grab it by the neck.


Forgive their sins, and do what's right - but do not forget: 


When the time comes, we are together - and we always will be. 


Peace & Love Mumbai,
TRB
@trbetala


PS. My condolences to those who were affected by this, and I still sincerely hope that you can find a reason in your heart to believe that a world is a good place.

Luck favors a good mood: A hypothesis

I came upon a sudden idea yesterday that I want to share will all of you. I have a hypothesis that seems more plausible than not, and it's about the correlation luck and good mood.


If one is in a good mood, one is more open and accepting to try new things, and thus meets new people and gets introduced to new concepts and ideas. 


When the mind is open to such experiences, things happen as if my mystery - you may meet the "one", whether it's an idea, a partner or a lover - just by saying yes. And you don't say yes when you're in a bad mood.


When you're in a good mood, people also like you and would like to do things for you.


When you say yes, luck happens. It may just be about experiencing enough things and meeting enough people to make what you really want come true. 


It's just a hypothesis, of course - but I believe it!


TRB
@trbetala

Wisdom is patience and knowledge

I don’t do a lot of personal posts, as I’ve mentioned earlier. But all my posts on this blog are inspired truly. If I’ve learnt something, I put it on here – and I learn something everyday, so I get to post often.

I have also been very impatient lately with a few of my friends – who have their own unique way of explaining things. I say unique because it truly is, their perspective, their way of looking at things, and their “dreams are real if you want them to be attitude”.

I may not completely understand all they are saying, or I may. I may want to do things quicker – but I tend to not have the patience as they explain their ideas thoroughly. I know that I must have that patience.

Additionally, I wouldn’t want someone cutting me off.

Im still learning, and I’m far from wise. Most importantly, I apologize for being rude, or hastening people in articulating their ideas. I am truly fascinated by a lot of people who I rush, it’s just my nature to do not simply talk much.

But that’s about to change. Thank you for this lesson. I write this mainly for Pratik Jain.

I want to leave you all with this quote by Lao Tzu: “The universe does not rush, but it accomplishes everything it set out to”.

TRB
@trbetala

On living for appreciation

All work is a craft, if the creator believes it to be so. We all do things in our own unique way and give it a different touch – When we do something well, and are noticed for it, we get a pat on the back or an appreciation.
This is good. It improves our morale and motivates us to do better.


I do believe however that it’s not all about appreciation – for you may do your job, art, craft extremely well, and not get noticed for it. Or you may be noticed at first, and then the fame dies away.

This  does not mean that your work isn’t good enough – it’s just a question of if you believe you’re doing well. Constant appreciation is not necessary to do something great – the inherent idea of creating something great is enough.

TRB
@trbetala

The handicap of options

In talking with a few friends yesterday, I realized how limiting options are. Yest they are important to make the best possible decision, but they handicap us in two ways

1. We either spend too much time thinking about the best option, evaluating each one and wondering what the outcome will be, or

2. We end up fearful on what would happen or what would have happened if we chose a different option. This also stops us from doing anything at all.

Choice is not always good - but inevitably we have many options these days - try going to your local grocery store to choose a bread.

When we have to make a decision, we must think about it and make the decision, not letting the handicap of choice handicap us with fear too.


--TRB
Twitter : @trbetala

To be or not to be

** Editor's note: this is a guest post by Saroj Javeri, who I'm trying to convince to write her own blog! This is a post she wrote for mine. **

We often think of being better human beings but seldom put that thought into practice. I was climbing up a footbridge at a crowded station & was trying to dodge a blind man stumbling up the steps with a stick. A lady coming down the steps took his hand & led him up. My conscience struck me right then. She left him at the bridge, because she had to catch a train. Thinking I’d redeem myself, I decided to help the man.

He gladly took my outstretched hand & asked me to drop him to the west side at the exit. Then he started talking conversationally about how he made a living by making cane furniture, how he was heading home & was out of ration to feed his family. I immediately made up my mind to buy him food. To my surprise, he asked me if I could help him financially. 

I told him I’d buy him food; to that he said he couldn’t carry it home because he was blind. Instinct told me he may not have been blind at all. Nevertheless, I give him 50; he asked how much it was & asked for 100 more. I got disgusted, took a rick, only to see him hobbling towards a seedy bar & restaurant at the corner of the street.

Here’s why I ask, to be or not to be compassionate toward complete strangers in such a messed up world?

To answer the question, I would help a stranger but never in cash, no matter what & only if my instinct supports me that I won't get into trouble doing so!

The one you can't live with

Quite often we fall in love with someone who becomes such an intrinsic part of our lives. Sometimes they leave us, sometimes they don't.

In the former case, given enough time, one can overcome the missing of that person. Mostly, even if not completely. Generally to find a partial replacement is the answer - letting someone take that place which is void.

In the latter case, when people don't leave us, and our love is eternal in this life - what much else can one ask for? While reading listverse I came across a word that describe truly real love - Ya'aburnee, which cannot be translated into another word - but it means "you bury me, for I couldn't live without you".

How truly moving.

Without moving too much into a tangent, I want to say that a void is a void - but if one experiences a loss, they must be open enough to let someone else fill that void, for otherwise, sulking is the only option.

I hope all love lasts forever, even if it's not the same love.

The thing is my love

The thing is my love,

I cant hold my own,

When I see you by chance,

I realize who I am now.

Fond of the feeling when

My heart skips a beat.

When I see you I see,

What it means to be me,

If I am who I am,

You must be an angel.

I sleep in my throne

In the palace you reside.

PS. been a while since I wrote any poetry. One can never write enough about love. If you've missed some of my older poetry, here are the links: The Old Man and Play Along

Acting upon fear

Recent experiences have made me believe that when we are fearful of/for something, the best thing we can do is nothing. 

By acting on fear, we magnify the fear and it increases. By not acting upon it, it passes away - as everything invariably does.

The only pre-requirement to be able to not act on your fears is to have trust that things will work our brilliantly. 

What to expect from yourself

Whether or not we expect anything from the world, I believe that its very important that we set expectations for ourselves. Expectations to perform, expectations to behave and expectations to just be human.


To expect from the world without setting expectations from oneself, is hypocrisy. To not expect from the world and expecting the best from oneself, is wisdom.


Of all things, when we set certain expectations that govern our being, our life is one of quality - we strive to at least meet our expectations. Without them - our life is one of an aimless wanderer. 


Nothing wrong with that though - if you expect to be an aimless wanderer.


TRB
@trbetala

Not getting what we want

It's quite a fortunate thing for us that life doesn't work the way we want it to. We often know what we want, but very seldom know what we need. That's the hallmark of humanity.

When life works on its own terms, it gives us not what we want, but what we need. I have come to believe that this is very true. I would take any day from life what I need, rather than what I want - because in retrospect, we are always happier that life worked out the way it did.

TRB
@trbetala

Beauty is in the eye of the...

If you don't like metal music, does that mean metal music is bad? Similarly, if you don't like a certain piece of art, does that mean that it's not artistic?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thus, what you see and judge something to be, is your perception of it. In the rhetoric cases above, metal music and that piece of art itself isn't bad.

It's that you don't like it.

Everybody has perception, but it is the knowledge of other perceptions, i.e., knowing that there are many ways of looking at one thing, that makes someone truly wise.

TRB
@trbetala

Better in comparison

I recently had an interesting experience concering the respect for people.

I realized that in an effort to prove to others that we are better than them, we quite often forget that we may be hurting them.

We wouldn't of course, have such a problem if the only people we wanted to prove our goodness and greatness to was ourselves.

That said, there are two ways to make oneself feel better in comparison - by putting or pushing others down, or by lifting oneself up.

The former is formidable; and by lifting ourself up, we also give others a chance to help us and themselves.

Trb @trbetala

Thought

There are so many things to get mad and angry about. So many things to be sad about.

The only one reason to be happy, is the want to be happy itself.

You can decide.

TRB @trbetala

The value of huge events

Isn't that always the case? Isn't everything more worthwhile in retrospect?

What do you think?

A wonderful poem by WB Yeats

I came across this fantastic poem, written by WB Yeats. Some of you might have already read it, some might be reading it for the first time. What really fascinates me is that the poem has a lot of contentment hidden in it. 


Someone who is truly content with his life, (even if only in that instant), can write such a piece. I'll leave you with it.

Wine comes in at the mouth 

And love comes in at the eye; 

That's all we shall know for truth 

Before we grow old and die. 

I lift the glass to my mouth, 

I look at you, and I sigh.

Isn't it wonderful? 

What knowing "concepts" really does for you

From our reading, listening, and experience, we know the practical applicability of certain concepts, even if we may not understand them completely. For example when people say "live as if it's your last day", One doesnt really know what that means until he's fought death.

But, if we know what the concepts are, we may, in time, know how to apply them properly, when faced with certain situations.

We have too many things to experience in this world, and there is too little time, (and this is a concept we are much aware of) so knowing things, even if we may not know how they may apply to life, is very important. 

As human beings, we can apply learning from one subject to something in a completely different realm: not many other species can do that. (In fact I'm not sure of any other species that can). One example is thinking about thinking. We can think about our thoughts, know that we know, and are self-aware (also known as metacongnition), can other species do all of that? 

When in a situation where you already understand the theoretical concept, the practical application will be much easier. It would be that much harder if you were to learn the theoritcal concept and then apply it practically.

That's the importance on constant learning - even of learning things theoretically. 

This is in addition to the easier said than done post. Everything is easier said (and known) than done, but that doesnt mean you should shy away, or feel it useless completely to "know" about it.

Ps. I am a very big fan of Leo Babauta's posts on "cutting out the clutter from life". Read if you have a few minutes! (or follow him!)

On compassion and such things

com·pas·sion/kəmˈpaSHən/

Noun: Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others

Compassion, I believe, is the foremost human trait. It is only with compassion that we can seek to understand others, ourselves, and seek to be understood.

It is with compassion that we can be truly happy - for if we decide that we cannot understand the world, and cannot expect to be understood - we lose hope in humanity. It is the start of a downward spiral that ends in self-loathing and a half-baked life.

Everyday, we make mistakes, and everyday we learn new things - it is with compassion for dear life that we are taught such lessons. Even if are not recipients of compassion in a certain event, we must strive to give it away. It is not easy, but it is not impossible.

All people are children in some respect, and adults in another: Some might behave with immaturity when it comes to love, some when it comes to money, and others may be very adult in dealing with these and other topics.

I would too, in some cases, as you would. We must be compassionate, we must be understanding and patient, for we may expect others to behave suchly too.

And if we can't be compassionate (loving, forgiving, understanding, patient, and a hundred other synonyms) we must not be hurtful. That is easy.