What are the odds?

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago, about me getting into Harvard Business School. With a 720 in GMAT , and an entrepreneurial spirit through which I started New Age Media, Arogya Medical Services and helping my dad with his new Private Equity fund, I don't think I have any lack of work experience. His mention was that 720 is probably not enough to cut through the slack, and in addition I would need a good deal of work ex.

"What are the odds?" He said

I couldn't help but be a little defensive inside, but I said "nobody ever got anything (worthwhile) done by caring for the odds". I stand by it, and of course its true - if I think about the odds, I can guarantee that there are a number people smarter than me, have better work ex and have better skills at x, y and z. That said, if I was to care for the odds, I'd probably give up even before I started. I'm passionate about HBS not for the name but what I get out of it - and its not the prestige or the money. Ill be fine without either - and what I can give back.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I became in believing that maybe he has a point, but after a point, I knew inside that he doesn't. I believe in myself and in my potential. I'm certainly not going to let such a negative comment bother me, as if such negativity hadn't already had done enough damage in this world. It's a little harsh I know to say such a thing, but its not untrue. We all have to only believe that we can, and be realistic and true to ourselves. If I was to believe that I can do something when clearly my abilities do not and would not sustain me for such an activity (eg., basketball, I suck at it) then I would be delusional.

Someone somewhere with the potential I have is doing exactly what I want to, and I can be sure of that. And you can be sure of that too (about your own potential); then why can't you and I do it?

I'm taking this personally, and although I've got nothing to prove to anybody, for what I think is all that matters to my existence (first hand experience), I've got something to change, something to improve, and something to give back to the world. And I'm on my path to doing it.

However, I can't let it to be supposed that getting into HBS will be the deciding factor in my trying to improve this world as it is - no it wouldn't be, for I'd still be me with or without and outside influence. A right platform like HBS will make my trying more efficient.

--
TRB

Great Expectations

It took me two months to finish the book. With deep thoughts on humanity and amazing characters, and realistic portrayal of a hundred people that we meet everyday, Charles Dickens' nailed it. Aware of the million reviews of the book, I do not wish to add another one to the list, but instead, as an analysis of our lives, so well portrayed in the book, I'd like to sum it up (which now that I think again, is not possible). There are people who will never read this book, for they just don't prefer to read. There are people who may never hear about this book at all, for they wouldn't be in such a company. If this makes even one person read it, and reading it is not an arduous task, I will be glad I spent such a time writing about the humanity in the book, and the effect of the book on humanity.

Reading the book is a pleasure, no doubt, once you overcome your own insecurities: This is a book where you identify with every character, and not mostly with only the protagonist, as in many works of fiction. I identified most with Wemmick, a strange fellow, who kept his two lives seperately, his personal and his professional. Never intertwined them, never wanted to. But that's it with my identification. It took me this long to read because the language is overwhelming at first, but once you get used to it, the reflection upon our own securities is overwhelming. But that feeling is not forever, we have, in our own innate nature, a need to overcome our insecurities, and perhaps we just don't know it.

On understanding everything

The book has a general theme of normal-ness. It is a day to day life of a child, a man, a woman, a thief, a worker, an owner, a rich man, a poor man, a pretentious bastard or a cheery friend. It makes you analyse yourself and it points out not only how people act, but why they do so. It makes you understand people better, and above all, yourself. 

On Forgiveness

There is no thing that can equal forgiveness, is where the story rests itself. What you do, how you do it, what is done unto you, and why, is a judgement that no one can make in your life, for you know best where you are and how you got there. But being able to not hold grudges, and letting go is put forth in such a beautiful way, that it was inspiring enough to be able for anyone to say: Forgiveness is the only way to live. 

On those who love you

There is no one equal to the ones that love you, is what the story aims to end at: Even though family is a privilege, not a right, and although you might not even dismally like those who love you, to acknowledge their love, even if to not reciprocate it, is something we may as well do, for we never know when we need their love most. The uncertainty of life is gripping, and it's so well portrayed with Pip's life.

On a thankless life

A thankless life is the worst of them all, for we get so much everyday. With the marketing and the need for ostentation of our world today, we continue to want more. But to stop and be thankful, for everything we get comes to us much harder. The greatness in humanity lies in hope, of course, for without that, we may as well not exist. But to hope for ever more is finally to our own detriment, and it's true, and portrayed so well with the characters in this book.

Even if such inspirations to want as little and lead a zen life, forgive, understand, and be less vain might stay with you or me for a very limited time, the lessons in the book will keep coming back. To be overwhelmed by our possessions and have them dictate who we are is a lack of freedom - the true negator of free will. 

On the vanity of remorse

Another brief theme touched upon the book is vanity of feeling bad: The vanity of remorse, of regret and feelings of the like. We don't generally think of it that way. Remorse cannot be an exercise in vanity, can it? It can. We care more about us feeling bad for doing something wrong than unto whom that action has been done, isn't it so? It is indeed an exercise in vanity, but an exercise that will at least make us understand what we shouldn't do. 

I wish I could make this shorter (or a hundred pages long), but I shall never be able to really explain what the real theme is, for it is everything. There are so many things that we need to learn, not by only our own experiences, but by those of others - fictitious or otherwise - because we can't make all mistakes. We will cease to exist before we make all the mistakes there are to make.

I shall leave with this, but I hope those of you who read this would be inclined to read Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. Perhaps as an assignment to understanding oneself better, if not as a work of fiction.

The importance of reflection

Recently, I have been thinking quite a bit about how we ought to lead our lives - whether it is about how we may relate to others, or it is about how we relate to ourselves, our dreams, goals, aspirations and such - and what struck me today was the importance of reflection. What separates us from most animals is that we can think about thinking (the thought of thought, and that makes us self-aware). Most other animals are not (or have not yet been found to be) able to think about thinking, but leaving that aside, this thought of thought makes us reflect.


What did we do in the past and how it has affected us, is something we need to consciously and mindfully consider. Without reflecting, we simply may be making the same mistakes over and over again. We may end up being the same way throughout our lives, and growth in our individual capacity might end up a distant dream. Our lifestyle makes this an even more important task: we pride oursleves on being busy, on doing a hundred and one things and being 24/7 people. As with everything in life, if we don't make the time to sit down and reflect, we may never sit down and reflect. 


Being busy is great but taking a step back and a bird's eye view is just as important, if not more. This applies universally, I believe, for making the same mistakes, blaming the wrong aspects of our lives, and becoming better people are three concepts that apply universally.


There need not be a scientific system for a reflection, it can be instinctive, or it can simply just be based on feelings. This not only helps us become better people, it also gives us better view of how we ought to be, in relation to others and to ourselves. 


Thinking back makes everything clearer, in Hindsight we feel most secure in the outcomes of our decisions. Perhaps if we were all the evaluate how certain things make us feel, and others, this world may be an even better place for everyone, everything. 

I think I figured it out

So this is where it stands: life, in a societal environment, is a constant (but unpredictable) series of "if I knew then what I know now". In other words, its all about experience, you do something, you do it right or you do it wrong, you learn what not to do or you learn how to do it better.

It is applicable in every aspect of life if you think about it. So I guess we mustnt worry about embarassing ourselves huh?

Well, if I knew then what I know now...

This maybe it

We constantly hear about being more thoughtful with the natural resources that the earth provides us, many efforts today are made to conserve energy and resources, but what if we came into existence in order to deplete the world's resources? To use all of it up, and once it's gone, maybe we cease to exist and the world goes on its on way. 

In the creation of smart life such as ours, it maybe no co-incidence. Perhaps this was the best way for the world to take. In living in a world such as ours - with resources at our disposal and clever and clear uses for many of those - it becomes increasingly difficult to imagine a world where smart-life exists, but without any of these resources.

As time goes on, perhaps smart-life will become self-sufficient, and when the world's resources are gone, maybe smart life will too. 

The depletion of resources in and itself might be the only reason for our existence, the higher purpose and the meaning of life.

A Woman

Why must she insist on breaking his heart?
Why must she insist on telling him who he is?
Why must she insist on intertwining their futures?
Why must she insist on changing him again?
And when all is done,
Why must she insist on loving him unconditionally?

Tragedy

If I am to be your tragedy
Teach me what I ought to learn
If I am to be lost in my own mind
Teach me how I ought to fight

If I am to be kept away from my desires
Then give me a drink or ten
But if, and if you decide to be all of that
Give me yourself and ask for me

Anna Hazare and over a billion people

In the past few days we have seen an interest in standing up against corruption: most educated indians who have been following the news have clearly shown that this has affected them clearly, even if not deeply.

This is commendable; such a mini-revolution is exactly what we need at regular intervals to light the fire for a big one. For someone as Anna Hazare, such passion is inspiring. On the other hand we have to realize where this corruption starts stays and affects the most of us: in the roots; In everyday life; and in the smaller things that don't take the least of our time.

Yesterday I had mentioned to somebody, that standing up for an india where corruption doesn't exist is great but we have to understand that this has to come truly from within. Each one of us has to stay strong when the smallest of the things demand corruption - such as bribing the traffic police when we are caught cutting lanes or signals that we shouldn't have in the first place. In a situation such as that we might be tempted to bribe, our short term weakness will get the best of the idealist in us.
Then there is the problem of having systems in place: if you don't bribe him, your license is confiscated or you have a record and go to the police station, which will probably get a good part of your day. Now why wouldn't one bribe? And this is just one example of the many systems that aren't in place which eventually leads to and paves the way to corruption.

This then becomes a chicken and egg story - but the bottom line remains that we need to stay strong and not lose vision of the long term goals: to eradicate corruption at the level of the common man. I say that because every country has some sort of a perverse government, through lobbying or otherwise, and that's intrinsic to humanity. But developed countries at least have systems in place that focus on the well-being and betterment of its people. When the common man can spend time doing what he really ought to do - leisure and work - the roots of corruption can be mitigated as much as our nature allows.

That said, props to Anna Hazare for making it known; props to the people who, although may or may not understand what Anna is fighting for, they stand for it; and props to the media, even if they're doing it for the TRPs, they're doing it and its helping.

We can hope that the generations after ours will remember this event and learn from it.

Soap Life

I tend to not make any personal entries on the blog, but today's experience has made me so much more understanding of humanity that this will have to be the exception. I went to Hyderabad today for the Annual IT awards after which I had decided to get back home the same night.

But Indu, my aunt passed away not too long ago - she was affected by cancer and had her severity for 10 months. So I decided it would be a good time to visit my uncle whom I have not seen for almost 10 years now. Bhopal, my uncle, decided that it would be time well spent if he took the first hour and called every one of his brothers and sisters to tell them that I was here (except for my father, for he already knew of my being in Hyderabad). At first my thoughts were that why doesn't he talk to me instead of insisting I talk to all my uncles I haven't spoken to in, say, 10 years? Later he explained that it doesn't mean much to me because I don't care and that I've been away long enough so as to not remember moments when we were close. He added that it means a lot to them. It makes them a little brighter because I slept on their laps as a child, I brought happiness into their lives, I brought them to care and bond. All the while without even knowing.
Of course, I don't say that to delve in vanity. I want to bring to light that it only makes me an arrogant jackass to not even bother asking them how they were, but it obviously is the way I am.

**

For somebody whose life has been changed upside down, it is an amazement to see Bhopal be as optimistic, talkative and strong as he is: this was one of the two ways his attitude could've taken him, the other would've been down the road of depression. He told me two things: first, that there is no need to be scared. Of anything and anyone, and that he learnt from his son, my cousin, from whom even the school headmaster would be scared (and scarred, too, based on the stories). Second, that the only way to look is forward, she came and she went (in reference to Indu) and that his life, although not unaffected by it, shall have to move forward.
Its strange that we hear these things all the time: but through the words of others or the TV and movies. To really experience it has made me realize what feats we are capable of. Every other story he iterated to me had to do with his late wife, sometimes the painting on the wall, or sometimes that journey they took to Rajasthan when she was critically ill; Or even how she bought the only car they've ever had with her own hard earned money (in a conservative Rajasthani family such has *theirs*, women don't generally even work; the pride in that statement he made was implied and understood).

To lose a loved one is to lose balance, perspective and a damn lot of the world. To have hope and strength beyond what is imagined, and I'm only a third party to this, is an amazing sight. Its like that movie I saw, or the book I read, or the TV show I passively watched. Only that its not. It changes your perspective when you sit and just listen - the fact that Bhopal had so much to say only means that he has thought beyond thoughts that he is strong enough to overcome this. And perhaps he must because he saw how weak Indu was during the last few months, and how weak that made him.

**

Bhopal told me a third thing: to call family once in a while. Even if I don't call him. He told me how proud my paternal grand father feels when I simply dial the phone and call him. He cries. He tells everyone about it the next day. I had no idea and I thought I wouldn't call him because I don't want him to cry. it has changed my perspective upside down too. As emotionless and careless as I am with most of my familial relationships, this is nothing short of an inspiring and revealing story. I have resolved to pick up the phone and talk even though I hate it so much.