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Friday, June 24, 2011

On comparison with others

I find it quite hard to not compare myself with others. That's a normal human trait - it's a starter of ambitions  on the bright side, and jealousy on the other.

There is something more important that comparing with others that we must keep in mind: everybody is on their own journey, in their own battles with life. What works for one may not work for another, and What one has achieved may not even make another happy, even if they are alike in all ways.

Then there is the obvious How do I know what Im doing with my life? How successful I am? It is hard to find inward success benchmarks - and that's why we look outward.

Instead of using the achievements of others as a benchmark, and comparing ourselves with them, we must use it as a point of reference. "I can achieve this, or I can achieve that, which one do I want to?" It's all about balance: What someone else has achieved must not be your goal, but instead a reference to what you would like to have done - that will certainly give you perspective into what success means to you inwardly.

I have found it liberating to not compare myself with others; I can really focus on what I want. Selfish as it may seem, but it is no more selfish than wanting what others have, by comparing oneself to another. I find I can now just know what others have achieved by 22, and keep it in the back of my mind of things "i want to do if I will". Better than being distraught on not having achieved it.

This works because time is a relative concept: not all 40 year-olds are alike, some are more mature, some are less. Some know more, some know less. It's all relative, ofcourse, and that's why it doesnt mean much to compare just based on arbitrary factors.

Finally, today is as good a time to start working towards what you want to achieve as any!

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