In Meditation As In Life

While meditating, many mentors will stress the importance of not being attached to a particular feeling. This may sound strange - how can one be attached in meditation? - but its possible, and what the mentors say is true. As you learn more about yourself and go deeper, you end up feeling differently. Most feelings are calming and relaxing and some can be restless. As we are introduced to the restless feelings (by ourselves, ofcourse) we of course completely ignore them and try to stick to the calming ones.

This stress on understanding ourselves through facing feelings that make us restless is completely understood because they help us overcome our anxieties, fears and other such problems we may face in truly knowing, accepting and changing ourselves in life. To get attached to feelings means that important and needed progress is not taking place in our quest to know ourselves. To those who have meditated this may seem easy to understand and vice versa.

To understand this easier, and to make an important relation between life and meditation, it would make sense to relate this to any event that we face in life. In the short run, we want to ignore things that make us feel restless and just feel "normal" etc., and in the long run we want to get over our fears because these are hurdles to progress and growth in our lives. Ironically, by ignoring the restless feelings and giving more importance/attachment to the normal feelings, we make these feelings the hurdles. We're attached to the feeling because it feels good or because its the easy thing to do. Either way it gets in the way of progress.

Let's take love for example - everyones fallen for someone of the opposite or same sex? - and say harry was to fall for laura. Harry does all the talking and flirting like the countless times before, but when the moment comes to take the next step, he doesn't. He simply excuses it and moves on until he feels the same way again and does the same thing. Its either because he doesn't want to make the effort to take the next step, he is scared that it would change everything or because he doesn't know how to. Either way, important progress that would have made harry a happier person (in absolute context, harry would be happier with laura) is not undertaken.

This leaves us with an important relation between life and meditation, and perhaps meditating/pondering on it - on any problem - would make harry understands what really needs to be done. And quite obviously then, meditating on why and how the meditation is progressing is equally important.

Let's just hope harry eventually takes the next step.

--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

Poem: Sometimes for the better

I love her.
It was a long time ago, so it doesn't hurt
when I think about it. And now when
I look at women, it only helps to compare
Sometimes I see better,
Sometimes I see worse.

But there was something
about her that was different.
It maybe because it was a first love.

You always think of first love
as different you see – the tickling
that you feel when
you're talking to them,
the feeling you feel that you
cant describe –
it's sort of like the wind.

It feels good when it touches you.

But she never found out.
Its not a different story.
Its not even a different perspective.
Its just what it is,
and what has always been.
I think everybody goes through this.

She had different plans too,
you know. She used to laugh
with other boys. She cried with me.
She cried to me.
She used to tell me
everything so I knew her.
I really knew her.

You know once you've seen
someone you love cry, you would
do anything to see
them smile and only smile

She used to smile when
she was with another boy
and I could have done
anything to keep her smiling that way.

It hurt me that she doesn't feel
that way with me
But it doesn't hurt me now
- it was a long time ago you see
But it made me feel
better because she was happy.
I could have done anything to
make that feeling go away too.

But she always came back to me.
I was her other half, so to speak.
Her brain, her soul were one with
mine. But maybe our hearts
weren't one. I love her still
and when I see other women,
I cant help but compare –
sometimes for the better,
sometimes for worse.

On Critics

It was a time when people didn't think for themselves - what they
thought was influenced greatly by what the peers or the general
consensus was - when Einstein wrote his congratulations to critics. To
paraphrase, what he wrote was something akin to congratulating critics
because they speak their mind without succumbing to the general
population, without being influenced by the crowd. That was a time
when education was not available to everybody - or even if it was -
the power of reasoning was not commonplace.

One can argue that it isn't commonplace today either - and that would
be a valid argument considering we still get influenced by society -
and there wouldn't be another way to live among other society members.
But we as human beings have better understanding of everything in the
world (and less of ourselves, but that is a completely different
conversation) than the people during Einstein's times.

Today, being a critic is sort of following the herd too. It has become
commonplace to just state that you disagree and "speak your mind".
What we really need is people who can reason their way to disagreement
by looking at both the positives and negatives of what they are
disagreeing with and what they are agreeing with. It would take much
longer to do of course - and it is a lot less fun than just claiming
to disagree - but at least we aren't just speaking our mind because,
well... everyone else is doing it.

Poem: A toast

Here's to those who cry in the name of love
Here's to those that don't know what happened to love
Here's to those who haven't known love
And here's to those who love unconditionally

--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

The roads not travelled

Sit and wonder sometimes
If this isn't what its all about
If there's a way to do it better
But how does it really matter
This is the only way known

--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

What if?

I came across this earlier today, thought I'd share:

"what if our religion was each other, if our practice was our life, if prayer our words. what if the temple was the earth, if forests were our church, if holy water, the rivers, lakes and oceans. what if meditation was our relationships, if the Teacher was life, if wisdom was self knowledge, if love was the center of our being..." -Ganga White

What if?

--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

The feeling of leaving

In reading and thinking about death, there seems to be one uniform concurrence: the feeling leaving gives you extreme clarity about what really matters. That's mostly because you're emotionally detached from everything; you're leaving anyway, so why bother yourself with what isn't going to matter.

There's two things going on here: that we know what really matters and that it becomes clear when you're detached.

There is practical application to that: you are "leaving" at any point in life when you are alive - and I mean death.

I was leaving to come to bombay about 6 months ago - after I'd spend 5 years in one of the greates cities in the world - Boston. During the last few weeks it hit me that I'm really going to be gone - and quite a few remarkable things happened during those few weeks. Some of them:

• I didn't want to waste my time thinking about things that went wrong
• I spent time with myself, and of course the people I really cared about
• I stopped thinking about what other people thought of me or the things i did
• i was genuinely happy, and i smiled and was only good to people (or thats what I think)

All of these are just a few things about how I really felt. I wanted to spend more time by myself, exploring things alone and just sitting and looking at people and everything around me. It was truly one of the best feelings i have ever felt. There was very little place for hate or attachment - there was only enjoying the moment, and it was in that moment that a lot became clear.

Now bringing the topic back to "death" - This experience was similar in that it represented the end of my time in Boston (for that time) - and a lot of experiences in our lives our like that. The vacations we take is one example. Life can be quite like our time spent in places, and the end of those vacations would represent, well, the end of that life. In what many great thinkers have said and from my own experience: If we were to live our life like a vacation, detached, knowing that now is all that there is before the end of our life takes us to an eternity of contentedness, is a great way to live. That is the practical application of death.

It is true, ofcourse, that Human Beings cannot just live detached all the time - specially when it comes to business, money, family and so on - because these are what keep us going. This detachment however is not to be confused with the anti-desire. You can desire all and yet be detached with the outcome. That is the impractical application of living like we're dying. But as far as I know - there is no other way to live effectively.

PS. I try not to use death because of the obvious negative connotations that we have with it - but it's important to realize that death is our only incentive to really "live"
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

A Bridge

To The Detriment Of what they call love
Let's play a game or two
You can wait for me to call
And ill wait for you to

And when we're both fed up or moved on
A cool gesture to signify the importance
Is all we need to start
Playing games all over again

One white winter lonely night
And two booze filled bloodstreams
Take the leap on that bridge
We all call insecurity

And then there are no games
Just comfort
Because one side was insecurity
And the other side is love
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

Judging by the looks of it

I have decided to try to not judge anybody anymore. I'm going to achieve this through a process of not caring – not in a way that "I don't care about that person" – but in that I won't let "it" bother me. If the person makes me happy and content, I shall be friendly, care about them (as opposed to caring about the choices they make or the things they do) and just enjoy. If someone makes me unhappy, I will just not be bothered by it at all.That is the only way to be truly happy. It is hard though, and there are inherent difficulties in not "caring": A friend may perhaps need an intervention, or it may not be just simple to let go and move on. But again it's not impossible, and in the long run, it is just so much easier. It would truly be amazing if we just minded our own business and let the negative stuff behind (but oh wait, how else can one find entertainment in their lives? Here's a hint: TV, movies, books, music)

Judging other people only makes our lives unhappier. Doing so makes us hate other people – and the feeling of hate – is rather strongly negative. It makes us less happy because of its inherent negativity. The truth is, if we were to put ourselves in their shoes, our new self would be "right" and we are all aware of this, and yet never put it into action.Earlier today, I saw somebody wear shiny black pants. Like, I could see my reflection in them. If you're a girl you could do your makeup on those things; that shiny. I immediately judged him to have poor taste – I mean, come on? But that's what leads me to think about this whole judging thing. It wasn't bothering me in anyway other than that they were so different. So why did I hate?

In thinking about why we do judge, the answer was pretty obvious: We are so set in our own ways that we perceive everything to be a certain way – and any deviation, even in the slightest – would be judged as abnormal (Of course we don't like change and any deviation is change, right?). The truth is, there are countless ways one thing can be done rightly, so being set in one way as the "right way" is just an absurd belief.Embracing the fact that not everything we do is perfect – and there are countless other better ways things can be done – gives us not only the flexibility, but also the confidence to try new things and to make the things we do now better.

This will only make our lives better and help us find new ways and innovative ways to do things. What's more – this change in our "routine" will only make us more positive.

Isn't the effect of ONE positive thought truly infectious?
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

The case for completely pointless movies

Or at least the case for why they will keep being made.

Predicatble plots, canny twists and corny punchlines. There are more than financial reasons to making these movies, producers might not make a killing making these movies, but they certainly don't lose much money - and actors don't mind if they can make a quick buck and add to their portfolio (of already pointless, worthless movies perhaps). There are other reasons though, or so my over-analysis dictates:

People work hard (or don't) in the mindless jobs and most people have bosses that they wouldn't want to see at all, and work they wouldn't want to do at all. So once they get out of work, why would they want to apply their minds? I'm not saying not applying your mind is ok, but it is the reality. "Masala" films (films with predictable and stupid plotlines, for example) are the sure fire way to escape ones real life - the life where girls REALLY don't not give a horses arse, and the life where mr perfect and prince charming are not really the same people (they're generally one or the other). Real life also means responsibility and making ends meet - something people in movies don't really need to do.

Movie goers are happy living a blissfully ignorant life, and while this is an arrogant statement I make, its not untrue. The mass is the mass because they have a blob of mass up in ther temple that just wants to be. They don't care to understand the meaning of life or understand their interests with a different perspective or learn about someone elses life; and they're not to blame - its just how it is.

If a movie can take one away from reality, why would one not sit in and escape away to my dreamland? A ticket - and two hours - is a small price to pay. And of course I'm only talking about the people who aren't loving their life too much to waste it away siting in a worthless movie, consuming content that is barely a constructive addition to their lives.

So here's to the directors, actors and artists who innatey understand this and yet make a killing. And here's to the people who just want to get away.
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

About the whole painting

I came across this on a blog called "Smart, Pretty and Awkward". It's so true, and although what follows is customized for women/girls, it is very true for boys/men as well. We do end up focusing so much on the things we don't have in life that we forget to enjoy what we do. This is the same as "counting your blessings", but obviously there is no reason for us to not "want" more and work towards achieving those. Regardless, thinking about your life as an incomplete painting rather than a failure is more important to living a complete life.

"Only focusing on a tiny brushstroke of your life, whether it be ‘do I have a boyfriend?,’ “is my job high-paying?’, or ‘am I thinner than her?’ makes you lose appreciation for the entire painting. Brushstrokes work together to form a complete beautiful painting; different parts of your life work together to form a complete beautiful life. And an incomplete or unfinished brushstroke doesn’t make the painting ugly."

It does not make the painting ugly, it's just not complete - yet. One may still be successful in many areas of their lives even if a certain area of one's life lacks the vigor or zeal from an inside or an outside perspective. It's all about finishing the painting, because when it's done, it doesnt matter who's looking at it and what they think. It was the experience of painting that life that matters most.

Count your blessings, but that doesn't mean you cant want more.

A simple reason why we don't need to understand *everything*

I was reading "10 things science can't explain (yet)" earlier. It is mind blowing in that it is simple, but the secrets that the universe holds are some that not even us humans can explain. The stuff of black holes, about why we have the biggest brains, and we can never really explain time, more on which in a later post.

Now logically and reasonably if we were to take this arument further, we can nver really understand everything as normal human beings. If we can really not, then we are living pretty comfortably without understanding it all (life goes on, and we are comfortable with that, sort of) - and thus, not understanding the significance of every little thing that happens to us - as chance or destiny, which ever you believe in - is truly an ok way to live.

I say that for 2 main reasons - 1) we don't need to spend time over-analyzing things and 2) we can focus on things that really matter and just kick back and enjoy things as they happen.

Isn't that a great way to live? Not finding meaning in everything? We wouldn't be judging everything as good or bad, happy or sad, genius or man - it would just *be*.


--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

We've all gotta go to "work"

George Carlin is one of the best comedians who ever lived. And following is one of the best things he ever said (Among the other 10,000 bests).       

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

Oh man

--
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC

Thoughts on Enlightenment

Enlightenment is a constant process. I don't believe that one person just comes to know all one day. Even if that person is the Buddha, with all due respect, of course. One might learn to cope with everything at one quick moment - but it seems unlikely that one can know all. What I mean when I say learn to cope with everything is the knowledge that only the things that you let bother you, bother you. I know it's easier said than done – but with training, it's not impossible.

Before we go back to the "process of enlightenment", let's understand the "learning to cope with everything" bit: Let's take for example a young girl – Jessica – and the case of her toy – Barbie. Barbie was recently lost and Jessica loved her very much and would not be without it at any time. Jessica feels hurt, she cries and she is upset and she wants it back. As an outsider looking in, I can easily tell that if she was not so attached to the Barbie, she would have never felt so hurt and upset. But of course that's not how human beings live, and I don't think there is any point in being detached – love and compassion are great feelings and everyone must experience them.

But in a sudden moment of "Enlightenment", we could understand that it is all going to go away, and we can try to enjoy it while it lasts and when it does go away – just get over it and move on. (Time does an amazing job at that helping us move on). This is the basis of every Buddhist teaching: The non-continuity of everything and I do believe, that with practice, we can learn to love something and teach ourselves to be okay with when it is lost.With the "process", however, I refer to an understanding of the nature of things. With the infinite possibilities of subjects we can learn, and things we can know and ideas we can generate – there is no finite way of understanding it all. But with constant exposure, you come to understanding things better, and that is your enlightenment. You are now enlightened about being enlightened (That might just be the highest form of enlightenment, but I'm not telling).

Jokes apart, that's what has been said to us from time to time. Training makes us perfect, constant exposure makes us confident, better understanding makes us experts.

Enlightenment is certainly not a hoax and it is definitely within all of our reach – and the meditation here – are the subjects we train in.
--Tarun Betala | +91 897 656 1640 | BBPin 251ED1FC